The Emotional Sponge: My Journey as a Psychologist and a Human

“Emotions are like waves; they come and they go.” It’s a cliché in psychology but one that

resonates with me.

How do you tell a small wave stirred by a breeze from one turning into a whirlpool? What do

you do when you struggle to ride the bigger ones? I’m not a surf guide; I’m human,

experiencing emotions more intensely than I “should”. Relatable, right?

My therapist’s notes would show I’ve had my fair share of struggles with regulating

emotions. That simply means managing one’s emotional states. Emotions don’t arrive gently

for me. They crash in like tornadoes, gripping me until I fear letting them in.

Take happiness. Good news sends me dancing, speaking in a high-pitched voice, smiling

nonstop, telling everyone. The intensity peaks and then suddenly drops. Afterward, I feel

nothing. If someone congratulates me later, I might respond with a flat “eh” as if the joy has

vanished. That rollercoaster of exhaustion and confusion is emotional dysregulation.

In response, I began suppressing my emotions for others. I showed up emotionally, mentally,

physically, even when I was breaking inside. That self-sacrifice backfired. Suppressing

emotions didn’t help anyone and wrecked me. I became drained, disconnected, and worn out.

Emotional exhaustion creeps in. Too many demands, too much stress, no time to breathe.

Eventually, I felt like I had nothing left. My body felt heavy, my heart sank, sleep eluded me,

and motivation vanished. Then came guilt. I questioned my worth as a daughter, sister, friend,student, and employee.

Let me help you understand metaphorically. Think of a sponge. Its job is to absorb water. Left soaking too long, it saturates and holds nothing unless squeezed. It’s not useless; it needs release. Same with us. I gave myself permission to feel, express, and release. With support, I learned to name my emotions. I set boundaries, asked for space, and said no without guilt. That release created room for something I’d been striving for all along: emotional intelligence. It’s the skill of recognizing, understanding, and managing emotions in ourselves and others. It’s not just about staying calm; it’s about listening to what your feelings tell you and choosing to respond instead of react.

Emotional intelligence starts with identifying what you feel. Robert Plutchik’s emotion wheel

outlines eight core emotions: sadness, disgust, anger, anticipation, joy, fear, surprise, and

trust. These foundations shape our experience.

Once you know your emotion, pause and acknowledge it. Sit with it, notice where it comes

from and how it shows up physically. Listen without judgment. Let it be. It will pass, it always does. Mindfulness, self-awareness, and self-compassion aren’t fancy ideas. They’re

basic tools for staying afloat.

In our hyperconnected lives, emotional connection matters more than ever. We scroll, react,

reply, but how often do we check in with ourselves or genuinely connect with someone else’s

feelings? Emotions and mental health go hand in hand. Suppress them and you become a

pressure cooker: your body feels it, your mind crashes, moods dip, anxiety creeps in. But

when you create space to feel and unpack your emotional baggage, you lighten the load. No method has to be perfect. Journal, paint, call a friend, cry, pet a dog, talk to a therapist. Just check in.

Working with adolescents and young adults, I’ve seen how emotional health shapes every

part of life: academics, relationships, identity, and decision-making. It all ties back to how

well we understand and regulate emotions.

Emotional well-being isn’t a luxury; it’s as essential as physical health. Yet most of us forget

that. We respond faster to notifications than to our own internal signals. We prioritize likes

and replies over self-connection.

Think of your emotions like a bank account. Positive experiences and care are deposits; stress and suppression are withdrawals. Keep withdrawing and you’ll run dry. Emotional self-care keeps you in the game.

This isn’t just about individuals. If we embed emotional learning in schools, colleges, and

workplaces, we build an emotionally intelligent society,one where empathy beats ego, people pause before lashing out, and connection matters more than performance.

Remember: emotions aren’t flaws; they’re signals to understand. Feeling deeply doesn’t

make you weak; it makes you human. So, let your emotions in. Give them space. Let them

teach you. When the next wave comes, you’ll know how to ride it.

About the author-

Ankita Rajesh Gupta is a Psychologist, Mental Health Advocate, Research Associate based in Mumbai, India