Think well to live well!

“Nazar”, a word we have always been too cautious of. A word we have all been advised

with to express oneself very carefully. It is often implied that we keep our wins quiet and work in silence without drawing too much attention to ourselves. Let your actions speak for itself – a sentence I have heard countless times. This often makes me wonder about the way we live our lives. Although there is wisdom in humility, I ask myself, “Is this habit stopping us from being who we truly are by avoiding expression of joy and happiness?”

We know that sharing does not automatically multiply our happiness, which is why I am

a firm believer in “sharing my joys.” It not only helps me cherish my life to the fullest, but being transparent with others around me makes those bonds with them even more precious. Still, whenever something exciting happens, I receive the same response, “Don’t overshare; you’ll jinx it.” Let me share an example. I was recently accepted into a master's program for industrial and organizational psychology, and the only requirement pending was the acceptance letter that was to be drafted by my counselor. However, I was quietly shushed down when I became excited about starting the new program. This really made me pause and think, “Why do we silence our joys so quickly? Do we feel scared of circumstances that we do not like, to such an extreme that it instills premeditated guilt of being judged for something that has not even happened yet?”

When we stop ourselves from expressing joys out of fear, we are in fact repressing our

emotions. Not only does it stop at the “good parts,” but it also prevents us from sharing the bad times of our lives, where we could desperately use support instead of fearing judgement. It isn’t just the big celebrations that we withhold; as time passes, we also stop communicating small successes, everyday gratitude, or even the burdens that weigh on us. From a psychological perspective, the more we share, the deeper our bonds with other people become, boosting our overall well-being and promoting gratitude.

This is where critical thinking comes into play. I am not suggesting we get rid of the

tradition altogether, but healthy thinking is also asking yourself: Does this fear help me or hold me back? Can I choose how and with whom I share my joy, rather than keeping it confined?

Critical thinking helps us live a life we want to live, rather than being on autopilot. Living in the present means letting ourselves enjoy the little moments without factoring in the immediate opposite of something that might/might not happen. Trusting in our abilities rather than letting the universe do us a favour is what we should strive for since keeping things bottled up can only cost us our mental health.

If it is something we cannot eradicate completely, surely we can take small steps in the

right direction to let us express ourselves fully. Let us find balance between caution and

openness, without it being an all-or-nothing feeling. As we live, we can learn to share our experiences and achievements selectively; we can decide who to share it with and, in turn,

choose someone who genuinely wishes the best for us to cherish our happiness with. Instead of sounding like a showoff, we can express gratitude with wisdom. If it is still difficult to share with a big group, small ones also count! Joy does not require size! Lastly, we can reframe the way we think; instead of “Something bad will happen,” we could say, “I feel more appreciative of myself when I express wins in life.”

Our beliefs shape our thinking, which in turn defines our experiences in life. To live well

is to think well; let's choose thoughts that promote growth, connections, and gratitude. Being protective of your happiness is okay, as long as you do not forget to feel what it is like to be happy. Celebrate life, and with it, yourself!

About the speaker-

Deval Goswami is an Industrial and Organizational Psychology student. He is passionate about mental health, critical thinking, and well-being. He enjoys challenging cultural norms that constrain self-expression. He blogs to facilitate open discussion about happiness, adversity, and daily psychology of living well. Deval's life has been influenced by multicultural experiences in India and America. This provides him with a special perspective on how societies' beliefs shape individual development. His writing is a blend of academic knowledge and everyday reflections. He hopes to assist individuals in living more purposefully and genuinely.