My Journey as a Counsellor

I was first introduced to therapy, or counselling, at the age of thirteen. I had no idea what it

meant- I was scared when I was asked to go to a room and talk to a stranger there. I remember giving one word answers to the very nice lady with a warm smile. I don’t know what came over me that day- perhaps talking to her made me feel good, or the room had a nice ambience or maybe she just asked the right questions. Questions I did not want to think about, questions that made me feel like she looked deep inside me and saw me. My answers did not seem to be something that could be dismissed- it was rather valid, held space for, and though I did not tell her this- I felt like I could feel my emotions, the thoughts that made me feel bad to have, and that it was okay. This was my first idea and preview of a safe space, one I held for years in my memory and fell back to while deciding to pursue MSc in Counselling Psychology.

As a budding counsellor, I interned in places so different- different walks of life, regions,

culture, socio-economic status, goals and functioning. I learnt to use therapeutic values for children who are not able to talk. I learnt that my safe space did not look the same to everyone, and for some it was not even a safe space. But what was common was needing a person to show up on time. Needing people to look through the defenses they put on and be there anyways. To keep up their word, to show that they can be trusted, to be authentic. I would not be able to understand addiction or growing up unsafe or being in unsafe environments. But I could try. They did not need some superwoman to tell everything was okay, or to make them submit to one idea of safe space. I learnt to show up with ignorance, to understand my privilege and tell them non-verbally, that while I may not

completely get it, I was willing to sit next to them, listen, and be enthusiastic about it.

This experience taught me that therapy was not sitting in a chair opposite a professional and

talking in perfect English- it could also be using regional languages to understand pain, the heavy reality of grief and lack of privilege. It was also about understanding what I could take from the western model of counselling and psychotherapy, and make it my own Indian version-using activities when talking felt like much, showing authenticity and personality beyond the ‘blank-slate’ nature of a counsellor. This Indian version is what I used when I became a school counsellor. Therapy was not just to work on the concern, it was also to address the stigma of counselling, encourage and enable the client with the idea of seeking help. Dealing with parents, establishing boundaries, spreading awareness and holding space for everything- including disbelief and reluctance.

Educational institutions present a rosy picture- you are surrounded by people who believe

passionately in what you love, that it sometimes feels like you are cut off from reality. When the thirteen year old girl decided to become a counsellor, it was done simply based on how a therapeutic session felt. Twelve years later, I have understood many other parts of it- the need for awareness, internalised stigma, the privileged nature of it- not only in terms of accessibility, but also the prerequisites for most sessions. I have gained some idea of how the job market is. Reality and textbooks differ. And despite it all, or perhaps even with it all, I am looking forward to understanding the discrepancies more, to learn more. I still want to know how I can use what I studied to benefit others. Ultimately, my safe space is still that little room and the lady with the warm smile.

About the Author:

Nandhitha M is a School Counsellor who is passionate about creating a supportive, non judgemental space. She is an advocate for inclusive education and the importance of mental

health. She is keen about continuously furthering knowledge, and is interested in Trauma Informed Therapy and Art Therapy. In her leisure, she enjoys reading, writing, dancing and art.